I had this idea for some time.  So I decided to write it…

I had scrupulosity for way too long.  But now, I am over it.  I am done with it.  I still have OCD thoughts now and then, but I just ignore them and move on.  (It is important to move on as much as you can.  Ignore them or just deflect them.)

There was one notion that I believed that helped me get through scrupulosity.  And here it is:

– You cannot pray on OCD thoughts alone.

I came up with this notion during one of my OCD dwelling.  (I used to dwell a lot whenever I went through my OCD episodes.  Instead of doing rituals, I tried to figuring a way out of OCD without doing rituals.)

So what does this mean?  Let’s say you want to pray.  It takes concentration and deep thought.  You’re making an effort to pray.  There is some coherency.  There is usually a reason to pray.  There is usually a rationale to do it.

Now, take OCD.  They are random thoughts.  They are unwanted thoughts.  There is no rhyme or reason.  There is no coherency because they are random.  When I mean random, I mean random.  You have no control.  The thoughts just happen.  Unpredictable.  You really cannot plan OCD.  OCD is irrational.

So how in the world can you pray based on random thoughts?  You would have no idea what you would be praying for.  You may not be praying.  You might be thinking about who would win the next football game.  If they are random, then it is like gibberish.  Gobbledygook.  Random is like noise.  It is like listening to someone who changes the subject twenty times in one minute.  You wouldn’t know where the person is going in the conversation.

So how can you pray based on OCD?  Your mind might go blank with no OCD.  Then again your mind might be flooded with unwanted thoughts.  So how can a rational person pray on unwanted thoughts?  Usually a rational person would pray using wanted thoughts.  Usually when you pray you want to convey something.  I have never heard of a prayer when you don’t want to convey something.

So when your OCD thoughts are going off the deep end thinking of the most outrageous things, just remember – it means nothing.  It is not a prayer.  It carries no weight.  It is noise.  It just scares you, because you thought about it.  The thought is not real.  It is an unwanted thought.  When I mean unwanted, I mean nobody wants it.  Nobody wants the responsibility of it.

Before I end, I have another belief that might be helpful.  Here it is:

– The devil cannot do anything unless God allows it.

So if you think God has got your back, then don’t worry regardless of any of your OCD thoughts.