OCD suffers make the mistake of creating a ‘safe place’.  Germaphobes make their houses extremely clean creating their safe place.  Agoraphobes don’t leave their houses making their house a safe place.  They do this because they believe that being in a safe place removes them from the anxiety.  As long they believe that the house is absolutely clean there is nothing to worry.  As long they don’t leave the house, nothing bad can get them.

They create these safe places to avoid their fears.  For the germaphobe, as long they believe the safe place is absolutely clean or sterile, they don’t have to deal with the thought of germs or dirt.  They believe that the room is clean, hence they have nothing to fear.  The key word is ‘belief’.  The room may have a bug crawling around but as long the sufferer doesn’t know about the it, the sufferer believes that the room is clean, hence no need to worry.

However, when their spouse enters a ‘clean room’ and accidentally touches something, the sufferer suddenly believes that the room is ‘contaminated’.  The safe room concept is disrupted and the room must be made safe again by cleaning the room again, probably cleaning the entire room.  After the sufferer cleans the room, the sufferer admonishes the spouse not to enter the room again basically telling the spouse to avoid the room.  And the spouse complies.

The idea that rooms need to be absolutely clean at all times is absolutely crazy.  Usually, rooms are cleaned when things are in disarray or noticeably dirty.  When the rooms are cleaned, the rooms become livable again.  People actually enter the rooms using the space that it provides.

In the OCD dynamic, the rooms are cleaned and ideally never to be occupied again.  (Probably the only way a spouse can occupy and use the room is to wear smocks similar to ones found in clean-rooms in laboratories.)  The spouse complies to the crazy demands because he doesn’t want the sufferer to suffer.  However, unbeknownst to the spouse, he is actually enabling the sufferer to succumb to the OCD.

As a former OCD sufferer, I would suggest vigilance.  My view of the world goes like this.  There will only be a germ.  There will always be dirt.  There is will always be a 666 somewhere.  There will always be a pentagram symbol somewhere.  There will always be bad people who harm people.  There will always be violence.  There will always be corruption.  There will always be disorder (chaos).  There will always be diseases.  There will be always be offensive materials.  These things will always happen.  This is the world we live in.

Be vigilant.  Be aware that bad things are around but not everywhere.  As long there is no immediate danger, you can still make love with your spouse.  Play with your kids.  Be in good company with your family.  You can still seek happiness.  You can still find a bit of solace.  Just don’t be reckless and protect yourself and your loved ones.

There are bad things in this world, but you can also find good things and happiness.  Be comfortable in your own skin.