I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this, because I am not sure how I got over my OCD. But recently some event got me thinking. I realized that there were a few things that did happen that might have contributed to my recovery.
Note that I don’t think I am fully recovered. I still have unwanted thoughts and some compulsions but very few. For intance, my psychologist wants me to check the front door only once. I am compelled to check the door twice. For some checkers (people to check things multiple times), checking things twice is a huge improvement. Regardless, I am trying to check it once.
Even though I don’t consider myself totally recovered, life has been great. The bulk of the OCD that I carried for 17 years is gone. I used to think and do the craziest things. I put the brakes on that insanity. Life after OCD is great.
So did I do it? Here are some pointers and suggestions.
- I thank my parents for not buying into my OCD thinking. My mom and dad knew about my OCD and I would ask them OCD questions. Their responses were the same. One, nothing bad is going to happen. Two, it is all irrational. Three, none of it is real.
- There was a day that something clicked. I remember asking my dad an OCD question. I don’t remember what the question was but it probably had something to do with questioning an OCD event. My dad said that it was irrational. For some reason that clicked. My dad has been telling me for years that it is all OCD and irrational but for some reason on that one day it clicked. My new thinking was, “If it is irrational, then what’s there to worry about?”
- I have been taking coconut oil with my oatmeal for the past 3 years now. I saw on Dr. Oz that coconut oil was good for Alzheimer’s. So I figured if it affects the brain positively for Alzheimer’s, it might be helpful for OCD. Alzheimer’s and OCD are both mental disorders. Who knows.
- I think you have to do it all yourself. I was fortunate to have a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, who used to run an OCD clinic. When I learned about this, I was telling him the most craziest thoughts. He wasn’t fazed. He heard it all before. I thought I was unique with my OCD, but I wasn’t. Whatever OCD problems I had before the doctor’s appointments were gone afterwards. However, the OCD thoughts would come back later on. So the point I guess is that you might have the best doctor but it is up to you to get well.
- I used to dwell a lot about OCD problems. The interesting thing about dwelling is that I wasn’t doing compulsions. Basically, instead of doing compulsions, I would think about the OCD event or thoughts. I would dwell for hours, maybe days. I was wondering if something bad was really going to happen. Now, some the thinking behind dwelling might have been illogical, but I wasn’t doing compulsions. In the end, there were a few times that would do compulsions, but there were other times I would stick it out and not do compulsions. For instance, I bought a new phone but I had a bad thought when I bought the phone, so I thought my phone was spiritually tainted. My OCD response was to return the phone and buy it again. But I didn’t do that. Instead, I would dwell on it. I was thinking of reasons that it wasn’t spiritually tainted. I would ponder on this for days. Well the grace period to return the phone expired (14 days). I still have the phone for over a year now. To me, it is just a phone. Whatever worries I had with the phone is gone.
- More on dwelling, there were a few times that I deduced that for a given OCD event, nothing was going to happen. The reasoning behind the dwelling might have been illogical, but at the time it made sense to me and it gave me reason not to do compulsions. The reasoning helped stop the rituals.
- Hang on to your dreams. If you have goals in your life, pursue them as much as you can and don’t let OCD stop you. OCD may slow you down and cast doubt in your thinking, but don’t let it stop you. I have heard of people who are afraid to leave the house just avoid their fears. For me, staying home was not an option. I had things to do and I was going to do it regardless of OCD or not.
- I am going to go against one of my psychologists with what I am going to say. Make rules to put a lid on OCD. For instance, I had a rule called the drive rule. In the drive rule, I can ignore whatever OCD thoughts I have when I am driving because I need to concentrate on the road, not on my OCD. Whatever OCD thoughts I had when I am driving are ‘nullified’. I also had the trip rules – ignore OCD thoughts while on trips. When I think about it, it actually make sense. Moreover, you should ignore OCD thoughts period, not just when driving or going on trips.
- Detect OCD-ish situations. I can detect when certain things were OCD or not. When I have a thought, I can tell if it is an OCD-ish thought or not. It is more of a feeling. If it feels like OCD, then very likely it is OCD. If I detect an OCD-ish thought, I second guess whether I do should anything in response to the thought. If you can sense OCD, rely on it. If you can sense OCD, you can also determine what is normal.
- If you’re going to do any kind of compulsions or rituals, consider saying to yourself that it’s irrational. So instead of checking doors 50 times, going in and out of doorways or bath tubs 10 times, washing hands multiple times throughout the day, turning off and on the computer until your feel right, and so forth, just say yourself that is irrational. Say it 10 times if you have to. I started doing this a few months ago. Whenever I was compelled to do a ritual, I would say to myself that was irrational and try not to do the compulsion. It got to a point that saying “it’s irrational” was a ritual. I wouldn’t feel satisfied or assured until I said “it’s irrational”. I was saying “it’s irrational” multiple times during the day. It is true in saying that OCD is irrational. At least if your going to do a ritual, it might as well be true and realistic. Now, I don’t say “it’s irrational” all that much because I don’t have to. Either I don’t have the thoughts or it is automatic that OCD is irrational.
That’s it. No mystery drug. No nouveau therapy. It’s mostly cognitive therapy and a little exposure therapy.
Cognitive therapy is easier but requires a lot of reasoning and deduction which is probably not easy when you have OCD. OCD might cast doubt in your reasoning. OCD is going to compel you do something. Think the OCD over but don’t do any compulsions or rituals. Because if you do rituals, you just obviated cognitive therapy.
Exposure therapy is tough but necessary. Exposure therapy tests me that I have no fear of the things that trigger my fear. For instance, I had a fear of 666. I would see 666 on license plates and on phone numbers. Just driving to work is a form of exposure therapy. By driving to work, there was always a chance that a license plate or a phone number might appear. If I saw it, I would have to tough it out. What am I suppose to do? Turn around and go home? Not an option. Just venturing outside the house is a form of exposure therapy. I never knew what I am going to see outside the house. Now, 666 barely bothers me.
Don’t buy into OCD. Don’t defend it. Don’t find excuses for it. OCD has no value. OCD is 99.999% worthless. I know that the assurance can be gratifying but it comes with tons of grief. For me, OCD was perpetual fear. When you’re in perpetual fear, of course going to seek assurance. The assurance is no excuse to defend the OCD madness.
That’s it. I hope all this helps. I know that there are many facets to OCD and my suggestions may not be helpful. But I think there might be a few OCD suffers who have similar problems that I had. If it helps, great.