I was watching the local news.  In one segment, they reported that the number of cases was increasing.  State government officials were mandating stay-at-home orders and recommending to skip Thanksgiving and Christmas.  There was a doctor talking about how irresponsible people were at the airport last Friday, because the CDC recommended people not to go anywhere and there was a crowd of people at the airport going somewhere.

In another segment, the local news talked about the mental health crisis arising from COVID-19.  There were increased cases of depression, suicides, and anxiety. Restaurants closing, Jobs lost.  Food lines increasing.

I am not a fan of the news.  I think they are stoking the fears of COVID and shaming people to comply to government mandates.  At the same time, they are addressing the fallout from the fears that the they are stoking.  It is like figuratively putting people in a vice with fear of COVID on one side and the fallout on the other side, and slowly adding pressure from both sides.

Here is my take through the lens of a former OCD sufferer.

• The fear and the fallout are an example of extreme security. 
• Man was never meant to be alone.

I think people are going to extremes to rid of COVID while slowing destroying their own well-being and restricting their own freedoms.  Sounds self-isolating or even lonely.  Life is full of risks, but trying to completely eliminate them comes at a cost.

Being alone from others is not a good thing.  Being virtually in-touch with others is not the same as being physically in-touch with others.  This is quite apparent with young children when they are not able to see their friends at school or go outside to play.  College students may feel invulnerable to COVID but they like to party or meet people.  Being among people is a human need.  Man was not meant to be alone.  In Genesis 2:18, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Extreme security is a problem with OCD sufferers particularly germaphobes.  They go though extremes washing their hands, excessively cleaning rooms and surfaces, and using hand sanitizers all the time.  They are obsessed with dirt and germs, and they go through compulsions and rituals to briefly assure themselves that things are clean.  They have no faith in their immune system.  They don’t tolerate dirt or germs very well.  Sometimes they don’t tolerate other people violating the sufferer’s rules. 

Notice the OCD-like symptoms that people are doing:

• Obsessiveness (cleaning, sanitizing, wearing face masks). 
• Assume things are already contaminated with COVID (wiping everything down, sterilizing the air).
• Fear of getting the disease (COVID). 
• Intolerance of others not following the rules.  Some OCD sufferers try to get normal people to go along with the sufferer’s rules.  And some normal people do comply to the sufferer’s wishes because they don’t want to see the OCD person to suffer.  This is called enabling.
• Avoiding other people (social distancing, agoraphobia).
• Little to no faith in their immune system.  Instead of preparing the immune system from an inevitable exposure to COVID, people avoid other people hoping to completely avoid COVID.

Does this mean the general population have OCD?  My answer: No.  However, I learned that OCD is an interesting mental illness.  It is more than just a chemical imbalance.  It is full of irrational thinking and it is driven by fear. 

Everyone has experienced fear and irrational thinking (believing in misconceptions) in their lives.  This is why I notice OCD-ish behavior in people.  Fear is a driving force that, if unmanaged, can compel us to harm ourselves and others.

I used to joke with OCD suffers that one of the best ways to make money was to set-up a booth selling hand-sanitizers at an OCD conference.  Now, with COVID-19, hand sanitizers are all over the place and people use it all the time.

Around March, I predicted that there could be germaphobia at a mass scale.  Now, I am beginning to think we are already here.

Germaphobia is the fear of germs, and people with the phobia are germaphobes.  Germaphobes have a fear of catching a deadly disease or getting ‘dirty’.  Their rationale of this fear is very irrational, and most non-OCD people will never understand the irrational fear.  (From my experience, the fear of disease is less common than the fear of dirt.)  Their behaviors are usually the following:

• They are afraid of touching handles.
• They assume everything is contaminated unless they sanitize it.
• Unless it is clean, they will not touch it.
• They will never eat anything using unwashed or un-sanitized hands.
• They keep track of who touched what.  For example, if a person assumed to be sick or dirty touches a handle, then another person touches the same handle and then touches a surface.  And then a third person touches the same surface and touches an item.  The germaphobe will think the item is contaminated.
• They have a combination of all-or-nothing thinking and half-glass-empty thinking.  For example, if the odds of dying are 4 in 10,000, germaphobes may find this to be an unacceptable risk.  They will accept 0 in 10000 or nothing at all.
• Germaphobes may try to get their family to go along with the madness.  For instance, if a germaphobe cleans the kitchen or the living room, the germaphobe might tell the family members to walk around the clean areas and not to touch the clean surfaces.  If they violate the rules, the germaphobe will clean the contaminated areas again even though the surface seems perfectly clean.
• They will go to extremes to maintain their sense of security.

(If you have a majority of these symptoms, you have a problem.)

One of my biggest concerns is when the COVID-19 crises is over, how many people will not be able to break their COVID-19 habits and obsessions.  How many will continue keeping 6-ft away from others?  How many people will continue wearing face masks?  How many people will continue wearing cleaning wipes and hand sanitizers? 

Already I have seen the following recently:

• People drive alone wearing face masks. (irrational habit unless you’re an Uber driver)
• A household family driving together wearing face masks. (possible enabling)
• People walking alone without anybody around wearing face masks. (extreme security)
• Merchants going contactless.  This means a clerk will not touch the customer’s credit card. (enabling)
• People consciously maintaining 6-ft from everybody. (avoidance)
• I have heard stories where people haven’t gone to the supermarket since March. (avoidance)
• People not concerned about continuing the COVID-19 mandates for the long-haul even after 7 months. (extreme security)

I haven’t met OCD suffers since January because of COVID mandates.  I wouldn’t be surprised once the mandates are lifted that I’ll meet a lot of new germaphobes.

This year is my 7^th year of recovery.  I haven’t regressed.  I am practically OCD-free.  Still not on medication.  I have a couple of checking compulsions.  I am try to check once but I fail in checking 2 or 3 times.

This year has been a crazy year with the Covid-19 and the protests.  Because of the self-quarantine, I haven’t met many people, including OCD suffers, and haven’t traveled all that much.  I haven’t had the opportunity to confront my fears.  I have sort forgot that I had OCD which I think is a sign of recovery.

From my experience, it is possible to be OCD-free.  What I mean about OCD-free is free from the suffering.  I no longer suffer from OCD anxiety.  The aforementioned compulsions annoy me but I quickly forget them a few seconds afterwards. 

I don’t think being purely OCD-free is attainable. The main reason is that people have a degree of OCD-ish behaviors.  I see these behaviors from time to time.  They may not be suffering from OCD but they do things that OCD suffers do.

Plus, there are not many things in life that are pure.  Humans are imperfect, but we should try to do the best we can.

That is it.  I’ll end here. I could ramble on, but I think this is good place to stop.  Just remember: OCD thoughts are irrational.

I still don’t have OCD.  I haven’t regressed.  I haven’t taken medication for many years.  Life has been good. There is life after OCD.  There is life without OCD

I still have slight compulsions.  I recheck car doors twice at night to see if they are locked, but I don’t suffer from the compulsion and I am not obsessive about the doors at other times in the day.  Except for the pure-O’s, I think OCD has three components:  obsessions, compulsions, and suffering.  I only have a slight issue with one of the components and none on the others. 

I remember googling OCD and it said that there is no cure for OCD.  I used to believe this about a year ago when my OCD was so minute, but now I am beginning to rethink this.  Like I mentioned, OCD requires three things.  I only have a slight problem with one of them.  So technically, I may not have it.

I meet OCD suffers often, and I try to help them.  To some of them, I represent hope from OCD.  Some of them remember what I was like before my recovery, so they got to see the before and after.

So how did I do it?  I changed my lifestyle.  I had to change how I looked at life, and I changed my behaviors. Whatever irrational thoughts I had, I rejected them.  Whatever compulsions I had, I didn’t start them.  Whatever fears I had, I confront them. 

My thinking now is very different than my thinking when I had OCD.  I still confront my fears. I actually go out of my way to confront my fears to keep the OCD at bay.  When I have a twitch to do a compulsion, most of the time I stop myself from doing it.

Even with my personal experience with OCD, I sometimes get frustrated trying to help OCD suffers.  (If it is frustrating for me, you can imagine how frustrating it is when a loved-one is trying to help them.)  Suggesting to change their lifestyle is one thing, but convincing them to do it is entirely different.  Just getting them to confront their fear is a tough sell.  Suffers are extremely reluctant to confront their fear.  I tell suffers that confronting their fears will be terrifying.  Confronting is not going to be easy, and there is no easy way around it.

That is about it for now.  I just wanted to update people regarding my OCD status.  There is no quick fix. Recovery from OCD is a long road.

OCD suffers make the mistake of creating a ‘safe place’.  Germaphobes make their houses extremely clean creating their safe place.  Agoraphobes don’t leave their houses making their house a safe place.  They do this because they believe that being in a safe place removes them from the anxiety.  As long they believe that the house is absolutely clean there is nothing to worry.  As long they don’t leave the house, nothing bad can get them.

They create these safe places to avoid their fears.  For the germaphobe, as long they believe the safe place is absolutely clean or sterile, they don’t have to deal with the thought of germs or dirt.  They believe that the room is clean, hence they have nothing to fear.  The key word is ‘belief’.  The room may have a bug crawling around but as long the sufferer doesn’t know about the it, the sufferer believes that the room is clean, hence no need to worry.

However, when their spouse enters a ‘clean room’ and accidentally touches something, the sufferer suddenly believes that the room is ‘contaminated’.  The safe room concept is disrupted and the room must be made safe again by cleaning the room again, probably cleaning the entire room.  After the sufferer cleans the room, the sufferer admonishes the spouse not to enter the room again basically telling the spouse to avoid the room.  And the spouse complies.

The idea that rooms need to be absolutely clean at all times is absolutely crazy.  Usually, rooms are cleaned when things are in disarray or noticeably dirty.  When the rooms are cleaned, the rooms become livable again.  People actually enter the rooms using the space that it provides.

In the OCD dynamic, the rooms are cleaned and ideally never to be occupied again.  (Probably the only way a spouse can occupy and use the room is to wear smocks similar to ones found in clean-rooms in laboratories.)  The spouse complies to the crazy demands because he doesn’t want the sufferer to suffer.  However, unbeknownst to the spouse, he is actually enabling the sufferer to succumb to the OCD.

As a former OCD sufferer, I would suggest vigilance.  My view of the world goes like this.  There will only be a germ.  There will always be dirt.  There is will always be a 666 somewhere.  There will always be a pentagram symbol somewhere.  There will always be bad people who harm people.  There will always be violence.  There will always be corruption.  There will always be disorder (chaos).  There will always be diseases.  There will be always be offensive materials.  These things will always happen.  This is the world we live in.

Be vigilant.  Be aware that bad things are around but not everywhere.  As long there is no immediate danger, you can still make love with your spouse.  Play with your kids.  Be in good company with your family.  You can still seek happiness.  You can still find a bit of solace.  Just don’t be reckless and protect yourself and your loved ones.

There are bad things in this world, but you can also find good things and happiness.  Be comfortable in your own skin.

Hello everybody.  Just want to give an update about myself.  It has been a long while since I posted last.  There are probably some people out there wondering what happened to me.

Well, I still don’t suffer from OCD.  I haven’t relapsed.  Life has been pretty good.  It has been almost 2 years since I started getting over OCD.  Right now, I try to help other OCD sufferers.  They remember what I used to be with the OCD and now they see me without the OCD.  They know there is an out.  I offer them hope.  And the same, there is not much I can do to help them except offer ideas in how to approach in getting well.  I cannot cure them.  They can only cure themselves.

From my personal experience, I had to get over my OCD.  I read books, took medication, and saw doctors, but in the end I had to get over the OCD.  I had to do the homework.

As a said, I haven’t relapsed.  I am very lucky.  I don’t know many people who got over OCD and haven’t relapsed.  I can only think of one other person and I haven’t seen that person for a while.  (I hope she is still well.)

My advice: The drugs are not a cure.  The books are not the cure.  The doctors are not the cure.  You have to do the homework to face your fears.

One of the problems with OCD suffers is trying to convey their thoughts to a loved one (like a parent, spouse, boy/girlfriend, etc.) who does not have OCD.  When the sufferer tries to talk about their OCD thoughts, the loved ones usually doesn’t understand their problems.  OCD makes no sense to them.  From the sufferer point of view, their thinking makes total sense, but from the non-sufferer point of the view the OCD thinking makes no sense.

Here is my reasoning.  The reason non-sufferers don’t understand OCD is because they are trying to use logic to understand OCD.  By definition, the OCD thoughts are irrational.  You cannot use logic to understand the irrational.  If the thoughts were rational then you can use logic to figure it out.  But OCD thoughts are irrational and by definition has no logic.

One of the things I tell sufferers is if your psychologist asks you why don’t you just stop your OCD habit, go find another doctor. This is because the doctor has no idea what OCD is.

However, I also tell sufferers this as well (this is the irony) – If you want to be cured, in the end, you have to stop. This is because you cannot have it both ways. You can keep your OCD habits and claim to be cured. (If you let go of your OCD fears, you don’t have manage your anxiety anymore.)

I know stopping is easier said than done. It took me a year of exposures to let go of my fears and stop my OCD ways. Don’t expect a quick fix. A year may seem like a long time, but you might as well set the wheels in motion.

I think I am one of the lucky ones. It has been one year since my OCD started to go away. I sort of remember what it was like one year ago when certain things would set me off. Now, those things don’t bother me. Not many things bother me.

I think I am lucky because I get the impression that people who recover from OCD usually manages their OCD. The OCD never goes away. They stay on their medication for the rest of their lives.  The best they can do is just manage it. I am lucky because I barely manage it at all. The OCD is mostly not there.  And I have been off my medication for about a year.  I do believe that OCD never goes way. Sometimes OCD creeps in when I drive, and I am able to manage that. But on most days, OCD is hardly there.

I had OCD for 17 years. I was a hand washer. I constantly feared that I hit somebody with a car. I feared 666, the devil, Satan, Lucifer, and things evil. I had scrupulosity. I had intrusive thoughts all the time. I had thoughts like this every day for several years. I quit my job because of OCD. I couldn’t function at work anymore. I was a mess.

Now, I eat at restaurants without washing my hands and after handling my smartphone. I don’t drive in circles checking if I hit somebody. I have tried Casillero del Diablo wine and Devil’s Ale. Guess what? Nothing happened.

So what is it like without OCD? First off, once you’re over OCD, life finally begins. I wasn’t really living a full life with OCD. I lived in constant worry and fear. Now that OCD is out of the picture, things are clear a glass. OCD clouded my thoughts. It was difficult to make decisions that wasn’t influenced by OCD. Now, I have a clear picture of what is going on.

I remembered somebody ask a question about the positive points of OCD like how has OCD  helped them. Some of the OCD suffers talked about the positive aspects of OCD despite the misery OCD brought overall. When it came it me, I hardly had anything good to say about OCD. Out of 17 years of total misery, I can only think of one instance that OCD might have help me but even then I am not sure if OCD could have helped me. Other than that one instance, I had nothing good to say about OCD.

Now I have one thing good to say about OCD. The catch: You have to get over it. You’ll never appreciate the fullness of life until you get over OCD. Until you get over OCD, you’ll see the world in the lens of OCD.

There are few things I noticed since I got over OCD. Observations. The hope this helps the OCD suffer and the people who are living with an OCD sufferer.