On occasion I would meet people who don’t have OCD try to offer ideas to OCD suffers on how to get over them.  They might say something like, “Just don’t do compulsions.”  Or, “Just think something pleasant instead.”  I know that they are trying to be helpful but I don’t think they understand the grip OCD has on someone.

Other times, I would meet parents trying to understand what their child who is suffering from OCD is going through.  They know something is wrong but they don’t understand it.

So here is my explanation of my OCD from a person who has had it for 17 years.  Note that there is different types of OCD so my explanation may not be applicable to you.

In a nutshell

OCD is a very different kind of animal.  If you don’t have it, it is tough to understand it.  Much of OCD is nonsensical and irrational.  OCD for me was like worrying, what-if’s, doubt, fear, and repetitive thoughts run amok.

OCD is not like a cold or the flu where the affects last a few days.  OCD can last months, even years.  For me OCD was a daily problem that lasted years.

In retrospect, OCD was irrational.  But talk to me two years ago, good luck in trying to convince me that there is nothing worry about.  The worry and fear were so strong that it was influencing my behavior.  What you’re dealing with is someone’s flood of irrational thoughts and feelings.

The repetitive thoughts were no help.  They fueled the fear.  The repetitive thoughts were practically uncontrollable.  The thoughts just randomly happen.  There is no rhyme or reason for them.  The OCD thoughts would bring fear because I feared what I was thinking.

My parents knew I had OCD.  They tried to convince me that there is nothing to worry.  They knew what set me off.  I knew my parents were normal.  Getting from where I was with OCD to where they were without OCD was not easy.

OCD is a mental disorder.  There is no rhyme or reason for it.  It is not because you had a bad childhood.  OCD is not a sign of weakness.  I think if a ‘strong’ person suddenly got flooded with a fearful thought that repeated itself for days, I think that person might breakdown after a couple of days or realize that something is very wrong.  There is really nothing you can do to prevent it.  It can happen out of the blue.  Some people say that it is genetic.  Neither of my parents had OCD however.

Even though OCD was compelling me to do irrational compulsions, I never really bought into them.  I never accepted my thoughts.  I always knew that something was wrong.  I never lost sense what normal was.  I was able to discern between real feelings and OCD feelings.  But I had the hardest time ignoring my thoughts and getting over my fears.  OCD was being attacked in two fronts, from my parents and myself, but OCD was still able to stick to my mind.  OCD was very gripping.  It was relentless.  OCD stopped me from doing what I wanted to do.

There you have it.  My OCD in a nutshell.  It is hard to make sense of OCD because much of it is irrational.  You can’t reason with it.  OCD makes no sense.  If you’re affected by OCD as a parent or spouse, this maybe is what you’re up against.  You’re up against irrational feelings.

But not all is lost.  This is hope.  I had OCD for 17 years but now life without the bulk of OCD is great.  It is like finally living life again.  I can’t really say that there is a cure for OCD.  I still have the thoughts now and then but I ignore almost all of it.  On occasion, like once every two weeks, I catch myself doing compulsions.  This is a lot better than before.  I was doing about 50 compulsions per day for years.